3D"Description:

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Treatment and Support for Families Affected by Alzheimer's and other Memory Disorders

September 2010

Vol 1, Issue 4

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3D"Description:

Forget-Me-Nots

forget-me-nots

C= aregiver <= /span>

N= etwork<= /span>

N= ews<= /span>

A mont= hly newsletter for caregivers of loved ones with memory loss

IN THIS ISSUE!

"The Music of John Denver"

a benefit concert at Diana Wortham Theater=

SEE DETAILS BELOW<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:#6= 66666'>

____________________

Want your Own Personal Support Group?

Join the MemoryCaregivers Online Blog!

Easy Sign-In Instructions= In This Newsletter!

THE DRIVING DILEMMA=

Do you have a relative with memory loss who is still driving?

<= /span>

Do you worry= every time they take the wheel?<= /span>

<= /span>

Are you hopi= ng they will voluntarily give up driving some day without a struggle?<= /span><= /span>

It's difficult to decide when someone with memory loss should stop driving. Most information about dementia advises against driving, but this doesn't help the family determine just when it's time to stop. There's no definitive test to m= ake this determination, and because it is an uncomfortable topic, famil= ies tend to delay talking about it to avoid conflict and hurt feelings. Nobody wants to = be the bad guy. <= /span>

Driving requires different regions of the brain to coordinate multiple amounts of data. One or more of those functions will likely be impaired in a person with dementia. Eyes= ight, depth perception, and peripheral vision are also affected. In the early stages of the dise= ase, most people will still manage to perform their usual activitie= s, including driving. "However, all people with irreversible dementia will eventually become unsafe = to drive because of the degenerative, progressive nature of the br= ain disease." (The Hartfo= rd, 2007; emphasis added). <= /span>

As we age, most of us will voluntarily modify our driv= ing habits by avoiding busy roads or by not driving at night. But it's different for those wi= th dementia: as their abiliti= es diminish, they lose the capability to determine when driving becomes unsafe for them. They will minimize or completely deny their own limitations. They will be unaware of their impaired brain function, and they will likely make excuses or blame others: "Just because= I hit the curb doesn't mean I'm not a good driver." "I've been driving all my = life and never had an accident." "That car shouldn't have been so close."

=

= It's a dilemma. They believe they're just fine, that there's nothi= ng wrong with them, and that you're just trying to boss them around. How do you convince them of the truth while respecting their self-esteem? <= /span>

CATCH A RIDE!

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LOOKING FOR A LIFT?

These compan= ies provide local transportation services in the Asheville/Hendersonvil= le area:

. <= /i>

Mountain Mobility<= /i>

(828) 258.0186

Round-A-Bout Transp.<= /i>

(828) 253.0057

Out "N" About LLC= <= /i>

(828) 712.7259

Apple Country Transp.<= /i>

(Henderson County)<= /i>

(828) 698.8571

= <= /i>

Council on Aging of Buncombe Co.<= /i>

(828) 277.8288

= <= /i>

=

=

...and don't forget friends,

family,<= /span>

neighbor= s,

<= span style=3D'font-size:14.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:bl= ack'>and church groups= !

<= /i>

=

=

=

The Driving Dilemma (continued)<= /span>

= &nbs= p; &= nbsp; &nbs= p;

3D"Description: There are several ways you can help ease the transition for your loved one to give up driving. First, decrease the amount of time they need to drive. If your schedule permits, take = Mom to the store yourself, or Dad to his daily breakfast spot. Enlist the aid of friends and neighbors who go to the same church or meeting. Allow an errand to become a sp= ecial time between grandchild and grandparent. Make the new routine a pleasant habit, and they won't feel they've been deprived of either their outings or their independence. Making gradual changes to your loved one's driving routine is easier and less offensive than doing it all at once.

<= span style=3D'mso-bookmark:"LETTER\.BLOCK8"'>

Don't try to reason = or punish: "You could be in an accident and kill someone." "I'm not letting the grandchildren ride w= ith you any more." Reasoning isn't effective with persons with mild dementia, and punishing tact= ics simply cause alienation and distrust.

Be observant of driving habits. A single incident = isn't usually cause for alarm, but it is cause for increased monitoring. Be a passenger yourself and make note of any warning signs.<= /span>

Share your concerns with = your family's doctor, and ask him or her to address the issue. A person will often be vehement= ly opposed when confronted by a family member, but then be receptive to the idea when it is introduced by a trusted physician. Perhaps put the blame on a new medication's side effects.

CarePartners in Asheville offers a driv= ing evaluation that can be effective with persons who do not acknowledge their driving limitations (www.carepartners.org, click on Outpatient Servic= es, then Driving Evaluations). Ask your MemoryCare professional or primary= care doctor for a referral.

Start using some alternat= ive transportation options yourself (see list, above right). If your loved one sees that you occasiona= lly let someone else do the driving, he or she will be more receptive to doing it too.

The most significant thing you can do is to plant the seeds. Start having fr= ank, sensitive discussions with your loved one today, before it gets to a critical point. Don't wait= for an accident or other incident that puts them on the defensive. Don't suddenly take away the car keys. Ask them, "I kn= ow you're driving fine now, but what do you think we should do if you begin to have difficulty driving?" or "What if something would happen and you couldn't drive any more?" Encourage them to talk about their options, about how they w= ill deal with not driving. Let= them get used to the idea gradually. Respect their desire for independence. Let them share in the decision-= making process. However, keep in mind that these are people with mem= ory loss, so don't be surprised if it may take several discussions over= a period of time before they can accept the idea. Above all, keep trying -- it wi= ll ultimately make the situation easier for everyone!

* * * * *

&= nbsp;

BENEFIT CONCERT for MEMORYCARE!

3D"Description: "The Music of John Denver"

&= nbsp; &nbs= p; a tribute concert by <= span style=3D'font-size:14.0pt;font-family:"Georgia","serif";color:#9900= 66'>

&= nbsp; Tom Donnelly & Friends

Diana Wortham Theater, downtown Asheville

Sunday, October 17, 4:00 p.m.

&nbs= p; &= nbsp; &nbs= p;

&nbs= p; General Seat= ing $20 &nbs= p; Patron $75

Tickets available at MemoryCare (828.772.2219)<= /span>

= and the theater box office (828.257.4530)

&nbs= p; &= nbsp;

A Benefit for MemoryCare

COME SING ALONG WITH YOUR FAVORITES!

CAREGIVER CALENDAR =

3D"Description: &nbs= p; MEMORYCAREGIVERS NETWORK

= &nbs= p; &= nbsp; SUPPORT GROUPS

=            &n= bsp;            = ;            &n= bsp; free & open to the public

=            &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;light refreshments served

=

=

=             = ;            &n= bsp;            = ;            &n= bsp;     FIRST TUESDAY GROUP

     12:30-2:00 p.m.<= /span>

       Calvary Episcopal Church (in the library), Fletcher, N.C.<= /span>

           Hendersonville Road across from Fletcher Ingles<= /span>

<= /span>

  = THIRD TUESDAY GROUP   <= /span>

    12:30-2:00 p.m<= /span>

   New Hope Presbyterian Church (lower level)<= /span>

        3070 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville, N.C.<= /span>

  =       (across from Givens Estates)

   &= nbsp;

  =    "MEMORYCARE CLUB" <= /span>

Not for caregivers, this is a support group for people with early memory loss.

(Initial screeni= ng required. Please call for information)

Meets concurrently with the Third Tuesday Group <= /span>

    For more information about any of these, contact:<= /span>

   &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;    Mary Donnelly          = ;            &n= bsp;            = ;            Pat Hilgendorf<= /span>

   &nb= sp;            =            828.230.4143         &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p; 828.645.9189         <= /span><= /span>

                   network@memorycare.org                            patricia.hilgendorf@gmail.com

____________________________________________________________________= _______________

THE ALZHEIMER'S PROJECT

If you missed this documentary series on HBO last ye= ar, this is your chance to see it. Shown on four consecutive Tuesdays during September, 9:30-11= :30 a.m. A discussion will fol= low each showing.

Sept. 7   - Part 1: The Memory Loss Tapes

Sept. 14 - Part 2:= Grandpa, Do You Know Who I Am?<= /span>

Sept. 21 - Part 3:= Momentum in Science<= /strong>

Sept. 28 - Part 4:= Caregivers<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:#6= 66666'>

<= /o:p>

Haywood Community Connections (haywoodconnections.com)

81 Elmwood Way, Waynesville

828.586.5501 ext. 1= 248

______________________________________________________________= _____________________

"CAREGIVER COLLEGE"

MemoryCare's Caregiver Education Program

A series of 6 two-hour lectures designed to improve caregiver understanding of differ= ent aspects of dementia care. Offered four times each year, class= es are given twice monthly. Instructor is Physician Assistant Te= rry Mulligan, MS, PA-C. Free = ;to MemoryCare caregivers; $100 for gen= eral public. Space is limited, call MemoryCar= e to enroll:   828.771.2219 or office@memorycare.org.&nb= sp;

<= /span>

The next series begins September 28, 2010.<= /span>

______________________________________________________________= ______________________

THE ABC's OF DEMENTIA

Presented by Heather McKay, O.T.,= Dementia Care Specialist, recipient of Marlys Mitchell Pioneer Award for humanitarian values, knowledge, and visionary leadership. =

Tues. October 12,  2:00 - 5:00pm

Fletcher Adventist Church, 181 Fletcher Academy Drive

Register at 684.6444 or 687.5261

Sponsored by Park Ridge Home Health and Mountain Home Care<= /p>

YOU'RE INVITED.......<= /span>

....to visit us at the Memo= ryCaregivers Network online blog! You can post your own questions and comments, or simply read what others are saying.<= /span>

3D"Description:

It's free and it's really easy! Simply copy or paste this address into your browser:

htt= p://caregivers.memorycare.org/forum/

Set up a Use= r Name (don't use your last name, please!) and a Password, and you're all set. Post your own questio= ns and comments, or simply read what others have said. It's like having a support group right in your home!

NOTABLE QUOTABLES

"Knowle= dge doesn't lead to change -- understanding does= ." <= span style=3D'mso-bookmark:"LETTER\.BLOCK10"'>

&n= bsp; = ; &n= bsp; = ; &n= bsp; = ; - Dr. Oz

MemoryCare= relies on charit= able donations for operations. Please consider MemoryCare in your estate planning.

To visit our website, click on

www.memorycare.org<= /o:p>

&= nbsp; = MemoryCare gratefully acknowledges support fr= om the Glaxco-Smith-Kline Foundation's Ribbon of Hope Program for making this newsletter possible.

3D"Description:

Click Here to forward this Newslette= r to a Friend!

Join our Mailing List!<= /p>

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