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Treatment and Support for Families Affected by Alzheimer's and other Memory Disorders

June 2011

Vol 2, Issue 2

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Forget-Me-Nots

= &nb= sp; = forget-me-nots

C<= /i>aregiver

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&n= bsp;

A monthly newsletter for caregivers of loved o= nes with memory loss

ALL MY BAGS ARE PACKED,

I'M READY TO GO...

Summer is he= re, a time when many of us like to travel. Vacation destinations, family reuni= ons, weddings - there are lots of opportunities to hit the road. But for= a person with memory loss, even a seemingly routine trip can be challenging and stressful. 3D"Description:

People with dementia usually have difficulty with changes to their routine. Add to that new environments, increased activities, changes in time zones, large groups of people, and fatigue, and they will often exh= ibit problem behaviors that never showed up at home. Many a family has b= een introduced to first-time episodes of wandering, confusion, aggressi= on, agitation, fear, or inappropriate actions when they take their norm= ally stable and docile loved one out of his or her familiar surroundings= .<= /span>

As you read through these guidelines, resist the impul= se to think, "Oh, this won't apply to me, my loved one doesn't do that." When persons with dementia travel, it is safe to assume that their confusion may worsen during the whole trip. Expect the unexpected. A good rule to follow is, "Plan for the worst, and hope for the best."

Be sure your loved one is carrying identification! A Medic-Alert or Safe Return bracelet is ideal, but also be sure the person's name, your name, and multiple contact information is with = them at all times, preferably in their wallet or even (unobtrusively) pi= nned onto their clothing.

Carry copies of important papers, such as a Health-Care Power of Attorney, insurance information, and an up-to-date list of medications. Think about what someone else might need to look after your loved one should something suddenly happen to you.<= /span>

Carry small cards with you explaining that your companion suffers from Alzheimer's Disease (whether or not that's t= he actual diagnosis, it's the term that is the most familiar to the public), and asking that they understand any erratic or unsettling behaviors (you can obtain these from MemoryCar= e).

A single destination is better than multiple ones. Try= to stay at one place for as much of the trip as possible. Ask that fam= ily and friends come there to visit.

Avoid discussing the trip with your loved one more t= han just a day or two in advance so that they are less likely to worry = or obsess about it. Do the packing yourself, and keep the suitcases ou= t of sight.

Have the person dress in comfortable clothing that all= ows for easy restroom visits.

Make the trip itself as short and simple as possible= . If driving, plan for a slower pace with more rest stops. Take along pl= enty of water and snacks, and consider having a quiet picnic lunch rather than stopping at a busy restaurant. Bring along the person's favori= te music to listen to in the car. Try not to travel after late afterno= on, typically a difficult time for most people with memory loss.

If you are flying, take advantage of airport services = such as a shuttle cart to take you to you next gate, and quiet lounges to wait between flights. Be sure the person is wearing very little met= al so as not to cause delay going through security. Check your luggage= so you won't be burdened with carryons; ho= wever, do carry with you a totebag containing = extra toiletries, change of clothing, snacks, magazines, games, or photos= for diversion, and a sweater or familiar laprobe.

DO NOT leave your loved one alone at any time in pub= lic places such as the car, the airport, a restaurant, etc.! If he or s= he must go into a public restroom without you, stand at the door and, = if necessary, call out to be sure everything's okay. Enlist a stranger= 's help only as a last resort. Do not visit a restroom for yourself wh= ile leaving your loved one standing outside, even if he or she promises= to "wait right here." Their memory of that promise is usually fleeting, they'll forget where you are, and will often go off to se= arch for you. Your best bet is to find a "fami= ily" restroom that will accommodate both sexes, or have someone you trust keep them company while they wait for you.=

Prepare for lots of repeated questions. Get an e= xtra shot of patience before leaving home.

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Bring as many familiar items from home as possible, i.e., their usual robe and slippers, toothbrush, bedside clock, pil= low, etc. Consider putting up signs at home for Bathroom, Closet, Kitchen, etc., several weeks before the trip, and then bringing them along to help ease the transition to the new space. Tak= e a couple of nightlights for bedroom and bathroom.

Allow extra time for everything. Bathe, dress, a= nd eat without rushing. Factor in plenty of time for naps and "quiet time," even if it means leaving an event early or skipping it altogether.

If you are staying at a hotel, ask for a room withou= t a sliding glass door that leads outside. Put a chair in front of the room door when you go to bed to deter escape attempts, or hang = a noisy bell from the doorknob to wake you in case the door opens.

If you are staying with family or friends, by all means notify them well in advance about your loved one's condition and limitations. Try to arrange for the two of you to share a room instead of having the person in a room by himself. Plan on attending events as early in the day as possible, and not staying as long. Don't feel that your loved one must participate in everything. A morning bridal shower followed by a luncheon, a wedding, and a reception is too much all in one day. Minimize time spent in large crowds, and provide quiet rest periods between activities.

Don't expect your loved one to remember names of fam= ily and friends, and never "test" them or say "Don't you remember...?" Don't feel disappointed if your loved one doesn't recall details of the event when it's over.<= /span>

Be flexible and have a plan in case of emergencies. Realize that your loved one has no control over = most behaviors, and that you cannot reason, = argue, or explain. Know that you may ultimately have no choice but to cut your trip short and come home.

One last thing: your loved one isn't the only person to be considered. Caregivers need to assess whether th= ey are prepared to travel with someone who has dementia, to face unexpected and often publicly embarrassing situations, to confront others who may not understand or support the circumstances, and to = be constantly aware of their loved one's needs. Don't feel asham= ed to admit that you need help. Consider taking along a friend, a grandchild, or even a paid health worker to help with caregiving duties. After all, you want to be able to enjoy the trip your= self without getting over-tired, over-stressed, and overwhelmed. Planning carefully in advance of traveling can reduce the stress on everyone, and can allow both you and your loved one to share and en= joy the experience.

<= /span>

BUT WHAT WOULD MY HUSBAND SAY?

(This is a reprint of an article which appe= ared in Volume 30, Issue 1, 2011, of The Caregiver, written by= Kathe Harris of Brevard, whose husband has Alzheimer's. Reprinted with permission):

Alzheimer's disease can take away many special things = from both the patient and his family and loved ones. But occasiona= lly it brings delightfully surprising gifts. We just need to be a= ware and receptive to those magic moments and treasure them while we can= .

My husband and I were blessed to travel a great deal during the early years of our marriage. Even after Alzheimer's began to change how we traveled, it did not curtail our wonderful trips.

Our last major overseas vacation was the year before t= he advancing disease necessitated his total care. I think we both knew it would be our last. but, in= some way it was the best. We rented an apartment in a tiny traffic free village in the Swiss Alps that we had discovered a few years earlier.=

Challenges included him packing his suitcase every nig= ht -- ready to go home, mistaking the hallway door for the bathroom and strolling out in the nude (luckily, no one was around). A dear friend we had met on our last trip to Switzerland works for a neurologist in Zurich. She took a day off and made the long t= rain ride to join us for a day of hiking the breathtaking mountains.&nbs= p; She was, of course, aware of Alzheimer's disease and its peculiarit= ies so it was a comfortable day for all of us.=

3D"Description: The most romantic time was = the night my husband finished his dinner and prepared to leave. He said he wanted to get on his motorcycle before dark. Of course none of this was true and I humored him kindly. He then took = me in his arms and said: "If anything comes of this relationship,= I want you to know I will never hurt you! I am really falling in love with you."

After 17 years of marriage it melted my heart to know = that this wonderful man was falling in love with me all over again. = ; I fall in love with him every day. Alzheimer's has changed our lives in ways we could never have predicted. But some of them= are incredible blessings.

To view D= uke University's Family Caregiver Program's newsletter, The Caregiver, = click here.

CAREGIVER CALENDAR

3D"Description: &nb= sp; MEMORYCAREGIVERS NETWORK

&nbs= p; &= nbsp; SUPPORT GROUPS

           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           free & open to the public



            = ;            &n= bsp;            = ;            &n= bsp;     FIRST TUESDAY GROUP

     1:00 - 3:00 p.m.

       Calvary Episcopal Church (in the library), Fletcher, N.C.

           Hendersonville Road across from Fletcher Ingles

THIRD TUESDAY GROUP

1:00 - 3:00 p.m<= span style=3D'mso-bookmark:"LETTER\.BLOCK10"'>

      New Hope Presbyterian Church

3070 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville, N.C.

  =       (across from Givens Estates)

"MEMORY= CARE CLUB"

Our Support Group for persons with early memory loss

(Initial screening required. Please call for information)

Meets concurrently with the Third Tuesday Group

NEW DATE, TIME, & PLACE!<= /span>

PARK RIDGE GROUP=

Fletcher 7th Day Adventist Church

Howard Gap Road and Naples Road, Fletcher, N.C.

First Tuesdays, 10:00 a.m. - 11:30 a.m.

(no meeting in J= une, next meeting is July 5, 2011)

Funded by Park Ridge Health

&nbs= p;   &n= bsp; For more information about any of these, contact:  = <= /span>

           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp; Mary Donnelly          = ;            &n= bsp;            = ;          Pat Hilgendorf

           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp; 828.230.4143         &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p; 828.645.9189         <= /span>

<= /b>network@memorycare.org            &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;  patricia.hilgendorf@gmail.com

____________________________________________________________________= _______________

WEAVERVILLE SUPPORT GROUP

Weaverville's First Baptist Church is sponsoring a new support group

for caregivers of persons with Alzheimers or other memory disorders.

Led by Pat Hilgendorf and Mary Donnelly,

the group meets on the Fourth Tuesdays from 1:00 - 3:00 p.m.

in the church fellowship hall, 63 North Main Street, Weaverville.=

Free and open to the public.

Call 828.645.9189 or 828.230.4143 for further information.

____________________________________________________________________= _______________

Caregiver Workshop:

THE JOURNEY - CONFRONTING THE CHALLENGE= S OF MEMORY LOSS <= /span>

A seven-part series of community education events presented by The Alzheimer's Association= , MemoryCare, and other area service providers.= Free and open to the public. All sessions will be held at Biltmore United Methodist Church (393 Hendersonville Road, Ashevill= e, NC 28803),

from 1:00 - 3:30 p.m. on the THIRD THURSDAYS of each month beginning in March 2011.

<= /p>
<= /p>
Next Session - June 16, 2011<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:bl= ack'>

"Do You Understand What I'm Trying To Get Y= ou To Understand?"

Do's and don't's for successful and eff= ective communication strategies with your

memory-impaired<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:bl= ack'> loved one.

For more information, call the Western Carolina Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association

828.230.3885 or 704.532.7390.

____________________________________________________________________= _______________

&nb= sp;

CAREGIVER COLLEGE

MemoryCare's 12-week education serie= s for caregivers, consisting of six two-hour sessions.
Classes ar= e held on Tuesdays, 4-6pm<= /span>

Cost $100 (free to MemoryCare families)

Prior registration required. Call (828) 712.2219 to enroll.<= /strong>

The next series begins April 5, 2011.

NOTABLE QUOTABLES

3D"Description: =

"Enjoy the little thin= gs, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."=

= ; &n= bsp; = ; &n= bsp; = ; &n= bsp; <= /span>

= ; &n= bsp; ~ Robert Brault<= span style=3D'mso-bookmark:"LETTER\.BLOCK12"'><= /span>

<= span style=3D'font-size:14.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:bl= ack'>

<= span style=3D'font-size:9.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:bla= ck'> = ; &n= bsp; = ; &n= bsp; = ;

MemoryCare relies on charit= able donations for operations. Please consider MemoryCare in your estate planning.

To visit our website, click on

www.memorycare.org<= /o:p>

&= nbsp;

Click Here to forward this Newslette= r to a Friend!

Join our Mailing List!

MemoryCare gratefully acknowledges support from the

P= erry N. Rudnick Endowment Fund with the Community Foundation of Henderson County

&= nbsp;for making this newsletter possible.<= /em>

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M= emoryCare | 1= 00 Far Horizons Lane | Asheville | NC | 28805

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