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Treatment and Support for Families Affected by Alzheimer's and other Memory Disorders

December 2010

Vol 1, Issue 7

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Forget-Me-Nots

forget-me-nots

C= aregiver <= /span>

N= etwork<= /span>

N= ews<= /span>

A mont= hly newsletter for caregivers of loved ones with memory loss

YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A WAY TO MAKE THE HOLIDAYS EASIER!

The holidays are here, with all the traditional trappings we 3D"Description: enjoy. But for a person with mild dementia, all that feasting, festivity, = and frenzy can cause more anxiety than enjoyment. Changes in routine and environment, an increase in activities, and an influx of family and friends can all be overwhelming and confusing. Caregivers, too, are stressed from trying to keep up holiday traditions while also caring for a loved one with memory loss.

There are, however, a few things you can do to help ease the strain on you and your family:

Adjust your expectations. Be prepared for a loss of interest in holiday preparations. A person who has mild memory loss may suddenly have difficulty with even the most familiar activities. If Mom made her famous pecan pie every holiday for the last forty years, this may be the year that you lea= rn to make it yourself. Ask her to teach you.

Tell family members ahead of time what to expect<= /span>. Warn them that Mom might not remember who they are, or that Dad tends to gather other people's belongings. You aren't doing anyone any favors by pretendi= ng that nothing has changed. Avoid "quizzing" your lov= ed one, i.e., "Mom, you remember who this is, don't you?" or "Remember who gave you that scarf?" Comments like these o= nly make the person feel worse; they don't help them remember.

Simplify celebrations. Tone down decorations in areas where your loved one will be. One or two beloved items will be more reassuring than a lo= t of clutter. Consider splitting large crowds into smaller parties. "Less is more" is especially true for persons with dement= ia.

Be sensitive to changes and limitations. Have your holiday celebration at noon rather than evening to avoid sundowning. Pour a non-alcoholic beverage in your loved one's wineglass. Provid= e a comfortable, stable setting for meals, not a lap tray or wobbly fol= ding table. Have everyone (you included) wear nametags with first names written in large print. Invite family to visit a few at a time, not= all at once. If a large crowd is unavoidable, try to stagger arrivals. Provide a comfortable chair for your loved one that's close to, but= not in the center of, all the bustle. Especi= ally if the gathering is not in the person's home, consider having a separate room available for them to receive guests for quiet, one-on-one visits before dinner is served. Put up prominent, = easy-to-see signs for "Bathroom" and "My Bedroom."

Be aware that your loved may not be able to express need= s. Take time at regul= ar intervals to quietly ask, "Would you like to visit the bathroom before dinner?" or "Would you like to get away from all t= his noise and go to your room for a little while?" Again, this is especially helpful when the person is not in his or her own home for the event, and may feel unsure about where to go.

Have a "buddy system" in place. Even in persons who otherwise seem alert and "with it," holidays often invoke early memories that can lead them to become temporarily disoriented= and to wander off in search of "home." This happens most frequently when they find themseles in a strange place, so they start looking for familiar surroundings. Ask one or two family members to serve as "buddies" to unobtrusively keep watch.<= /span>

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Include your loved one in the holiday merrymaking. Mom can help decor= ate cookies, or set the table with one item at a time, such as napkins = or plates. Ask Dad to take guests' coats or to play Santa by reading n= ames on gift tags. Have a few old photos, toys, or ornaments from their childhood that grandchildren can ask about. Remember that music is often retained when other memories are lost, so sing familiar carols with them throughout the season.

Become a child again. Elderly persons with memory loss are usually comfortable with childhood memories and activities during the holid= ays because they are often familiar. You may be surprised how much they would enjoy reading a beloved children's holiday story (i.e.,The Twelve Da= ys of Christmas) or playing simple games with the little ones.=

Celebrate in the most familiar setting, even if it's not home.<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:#6= 66666'> For many people who have moved to a healthcare or assisted living facility, a change of environment - even a visit home - causes anxi= ety. Instead of insisting that they come to you, consider holding a small family celebration at the facility, or participate in holiday activ= ities planned for the residents.

Be flexible. Instead of focusing on how the holidays used to be, look for new wa= ys you family can enjoy being together. Let go of the things that don't matter any more. Do less&nbs= p;so you can enjoy more. And find peace.

Most Popular To= ys from "The Old Days"<= /span>

Ask g= randparents about these toys that date back to their childhood:<= /span>

1900-1920

Raggedy Ann dolls
Erector sets
Lincoln logs
Train sets
Crayola crayons=

1920s<= /u>

Pogo sticks<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:#6= 66666'>
Yo-Yo
Model airplanes
Teddy bears

1930s<= /u>

3-D ViewMaster
Monopoly
Comic books

1940s<= /u>

Slinky
Silly Putty
Paper dolls
Rocking horse
Tonka trucks<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:#6= 66666'>
Scrabble <= /span>

<= /span>

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REMINDER!!

<= /o:p>

MemoryCaregiver Network Support Group meetings are now held at =

= 1:00 p.m.

instead of 12:30!

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(see Caregiver Calendar below for meeting details)

* * * * * * *

And don't forget, you're invited to join the = MemoryCaregivers Network Online Forum! <= /p>

Just Click Here!

Trouble getting started? Contact network@memorycare.org for help <= /p>

GIFT SUGGESTIONS

for LOVED ONES WITH MEMORY LOSS

"One of the ways that we demonstrate our connections to others is through gifts....The solution is not to gi= ve nothing, but to find something that may spark meaning for the Alzheimer's patient...."
&= nbsp; &nbs= p; &= nbsp; &nbs= p; = - daughter of a MemoryCare patient

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Some of these items are better suited to persons in later-stage dementia, others are more appropriate for those with milder memory loss. Be sensi= tive in giving any childhood games or toys so that they are not see= n as disrespectful or insulting, but rather as something to be shared and enjoyed by all.

Memory telephone, with photos of each person in speed dial (consult The Alzheimers Store.com for ideas)

Automatic nightlights that come on at dusk

Large-print = list of family names and birthdays, with photos of each entry

Album of family photos (old ones are best), clearly labelled

Books that d= on't require a long attention span, such as photos, art, or poetry. A favorite from their childhood can be fun (think Winnie the Pooh or Mother Goose).

CD of fam= iliar tunes from their teen and young adult years

DVDs of old = movies (think B&W and old musicals) or ones with no plot to remember (think nature movies like Winged Migration or March of the Penquins)

Simple, old-fashioned games like Slinkys, Tiddly-Winks, Dominoes, etc. (shop Mast General Store in Asheville or Town Hardwa= re in Black Mountain). Get everyone to join in the fun of playing!

Sweets such = as gumdrops, peppermints, peanut brittle, and other old-fashioned cand= ies (consider if the person is a diabetic or has other health issues)

Sensory items,= like a soft fleece throw or robe, stuffed animal (teddy bears are great), small chenille pillow, Nerf ball, or anything that fe= els nice to touch and hold.

Activity apr= on, pillow, or lap robe containing zippers, laces, buttons, yarns, etc. that keep restless fingers busy (available online, or make one yourself). For men, try a board with various kinds of hardware atta= ched like hinges, latches, knobs, etc.

Subscription t= o Reminisce ma= gazine (caregivers will like this, too!) or Readers Digest (large-print ed= ition)

Important!&n= bsp; DO NOT give electronics - a family gave th= eir elderly mother with mild memory loss a new calculator to help her balance her checkbook, and were disappointed that she never = used it. So while YOU may be tech-savvy, resist the urge to "improve" your loved one's life with high-tech gadgets th= at will only confuse them.

CAREGIVER CALENDAR =

3D"Description: &nbs= p; MEMORYCAREGIVERS NETWORK

= &nbs= p; &= nbsp; SUPPORT GROUPS

= &n= bsp; = ; &n= bsp; free & open to the public

= = ; &n= bsp; = ; &n= bsp; FIRST TUESDAY GROUP

1:00 - 3:00 p.m.

Calvary Episcopal Church (in the library), Fletcher, N.C.<= /b>

           Hendersonville Road across from Fletcher Ingles<= /b>

           &n= bsp;            = ;            &n= bsp;

THIRD TUESDAY GROUP=

1:00 - 3:00 p.m

      New Hope Presbyterian Church

3070 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville, N.C.<= /b>

   &= nbsp;    (across from Givens Estates)

=

"MEMORYCARE CLUB"

Our Support Group f= or persons with early memory loss

(Initial screening required. Please call for information)<= /b>

Meets concurrently = with the Third Tuesday Group

  &n= bsp; For more information about any of these, contact:<= /b>

=            &n= bsp;            = ; = Mary Donnelly          = ;            &n= bsp;            = ;          Pat Hilgendorf<= /b>

=            &nbs= p;            &= nbsp; 828.230.4143         &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p; 828.645.9189         <= /span><= /b>

<= /b>network@memorycare.org            &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;  patricia.hilgendorf@gmail.com

= ____________________________________________________________________= _______________

=

CAREGIVER COLLEGE

=
MemoryCare's= 12-week education series for caregivers, consisting of six two-hour sessions.
Classes are held on Tuesdays, 4-6pm

= Cost $100 (free to MemoryCare families)

Prior registration required. Call (828) 712.22= 19 to enroll.

= The next series begins April 5, 2011.<= /span>

=   ____________________________________________________________________= _______________

=            &n= bsp;