3D"Description:

= ;

Treatment and Support for Families Affected by Alzheimer's and other Memory Disorders

August 2010

Vol 1, Issue 3

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3D"Description:

Forget-Me-Nots

Forget-me-nots

C= aregiver <= /span>

N= etwork<= /span>

N= ews<= /span>

A mont= hly newsletter for caregivers of loved ones with memory loss

WELCOME to our NEW ARRIVAL!

3D"Description: <= /span>

MemoryCare's new Online Caregiver Blog/Forum is here!<= /span>

This new online support service is a great opportunity to post your comments and questions, and to exchange ideas, tips, and concerns. Anyone is welco= me to attend. It's especially us= eful for folks who can't get to a regular support group meeting, since t= he site can be accessed 24/7. Most inquiries should receive a response within 24-48 hours. It's like having a support group right in your home!

<= /span>

Logging on is easy. Just click on = (or copy and paste into your browser) the following name:<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:#6= 66666'>

<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:#6= 60033'>http://caregivers.memorycare.org/forum/

You will start on the Forum page, and will be instructed to open a new account, for which you'll need to come up with a user name and a password. We suggest that you NOT use you= r own name. This will allow you = to access the site at any time, and yet maintain your privacy. Then click on General Discussio= n, and either choose an existing topic or start a new one.

The Chat page requires another login name and password. This page will provide the opportunity for live, "real-time" conversation with members of the MemoryCare staff. These will be offered at specific times, so watch for notice= s of scheduled Chats on the Forum page as well as in future issues of Caregiver Network News.

If you should have any questions or problems with using MemoryCare's<= /span> new online forum, please contact Mary Donnelly, network@memorycare.org. We look forward to "seeing" you online!

= * * * * * * * * * * * *<= /span>

For more online information about MemoryCare's caregiver programs, including links to other resources, v= isit our website at

www.memorycare.org<= i>. = =

= * * * * * * * * * * * * =

Loss

<= /span>

One minute= <= /span>

he is my<= /span>

gentle giant<= /span>

with a mind<= /span>

of four,<= /span>

an intelligent ad= ult<= /span>

the next.<= /span>

<= /span>

I become angry<= /span>

with the innocent child

until I remember<= /span><= /span>

I am dealing<= /span>

with Dementia.= <= /span>

<= /span>

The agony<= /strong><= /span>

of our loss<= /span>

creates hollows<= /span>

deep within<= /span>

Weeping Willow<= /span>

whose branches sh= ed<= /span>

the tears<= /strong><= /span>

of my soul.<= /strong><= /span>

=

=

- Judith Z.

MemoryCaregiver<= span style=3D'mso-bookmark:"LETTER\.BLOCK7"'><= /span>

=

=

= <= /span>

=

=

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GIVE IT A TRY! - Creati= ve Ideas from our Caregivers

When loved ones can no longer be left alone, families = must often arrange for outside help. Last month, we touted the benefits of adult day programs for persons with memory loss. = Or you might want to consider hiring a part-time sitter to come to the person's home, either an individual or someone from an agency. Howe= ver, convincing a reluctant family member either to accept a stranger in= to their home or to attend an adult day program can be a challenge.

Sometimes it simply comes down to how you present it. = Here are some suggestions that have worked for our caregivers:<= /span>

*Announce tha= t you're going to volunteer at a senior center, and invite your loved one to come along.   The husband o= f one of our Network caregivers has been "volunteering" at a lo= cal adult day program for over three months and enjoys his new "job."

* Invite your loved one to go to lu= nch with you at a "new club for seniors." Go again in a week and stay for "the program."

* Find out what programs or activities might be of particular interest to your loved one, and invite him to go with you to "the movies" or "the concert." One caregiv= er told her husband they were going to the "craft workshop."= Another husband took his wife to "the dance."

*Try the Buddy System - if someone= you know is already attending a day program, get her to invite your fam= ily member to go along.

*Introduce the idea of a sitter by asking a neighbor or friend to do it the first couple of times under the guise of "having lunch" or "going for a drive."Then have the sitter join them on= ce or twice. The friend who bega= n it all can bow out whenever he or she feels that the person has become comfortable with the sitter.

*Rather than telling your loved one that you've hired a "sitter" to stay with them, say that = you have a new housekeeper, or you've hired someone to help you with a business or home project. Be offhand, don't over-explain.

*Be sure a new sitter has somethin= g to do when she gets there, even if it's just busywork, i.e., cleaning = the silver, reorganizing the office. Your loved one will likely be uncomfortable with someone just hanging around. Ask the sitter to keep an eye out, but to do it as unobtrusively as possible. Try to make it appear as= if she has another reason for being there.

* Introduce new routines in small increments. Try half-day v= isits, once or twice a week, and gradually increase them as your loved one becomes more comfortable.   Remember that new experiences and surroundings are frighteni= ng, so allow time for them to become familiar. <= span style=3D'mso-bookmark:"LETTER\.BLOCK13"'>

* Don't tell your family member ahe= ad of time where you're going, or who's coming over. They will likely be anxious abo= ut doing something unfamiliar, and will ask you about it over and over= . It's usually best to wait until= the day of the visit to present the idea.

* Be careful of the words you use.<= span style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> Avoid saying "daycare,&quo= t; "respite," or "sitter." Try the suggestions listed above. Invite your = loved one to participate rather than insisting.

* If the person doesn't respond well the first visit, wait a while and try again, possibly at a different center or with a different sitter. One of the hallmarks of dementia is that it is progressive, = so what works (or doesn't) today might very well change in a matter of weeks. <= /span>

* Allow your loved one the benefit = of the doubt. Don't automatic= ally assume they won't go, or won't like it.   As one caregiver put it, "= ;Don't be a Hold-Us-Back-nik!"

    &nb= sp;

REMINDER!

<= /span>

"Caregiver College&q= uot;

MemoryCare's 6-part education program

A series of 6 two-hour lectures offered twice monthly beginning every quarter. Designed to improve understandi= ng of the different aspects of dementia care. Classes meet at MemoryCare from 4:00-6:00pm. The next series begins on September 28, 2010.

Space is limited. Please contact MemoryCare to enroll: 828.771.2219 or <= /span>office@memorycare.org.

<= /o:p>

"An educated caregiver is a better caregiver."

CAREGIVER CALENDAR =

3D"Description: &nbs= p; MEMORYCAREGIVERS NETWORK

= &nbs= p; &= nbsp; SUPPORT GROUPS

=            &n= bsp;            = ;            &n= bsp; free & open to the public<= span style=3D'font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:#6= 66666'>

=

=

=             = ;            &n= bsp;            = ;            &n= bsp;     FIRST TUESDAY GROUP

      12:30-2:00 p.m.<= /span>

       Calvary Episcopal Church (in the library), Fletcher, N.C.<= /span>

           Hendersonville Road across from Fletcher Ingles<= /span>

<= /span>

=            &n= bsp;            = ;            &n= bsp;            =       THIRD TUESDAY GROUP   <= /span>

12:30-2:00 p.m<= /span>

   New Hope Presbyterian Church (lower level)<= /span>

        3070 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville, N.C.<= /span>

  =       (across from Givens Estates)

=

"MEMORYCARE CLUB"

Not for caregivers, this is a support group for people with early memory loss.

=            &n= bsp;            = ;           (Initial screening required. Please call for information)

=            &n= bsp;            = ;            &n= bsp;   Meets concurrently with the Third Tuesday Group

=

    For more information about any of these, contact:<= /span>

=            &n= bsp;            = ; Mary Donnelly          = ;            &n= bsp;            = ;            Pat Hilgendorf<= /span>

=            &nbs= p;            &= nbsp; 828.230.4143         &= nbsp;           &nbs= p;            &= nbsp;           &nbs= p; 828.645.9189         <= /span><= /span>

=                    network@memorycare.org                            patricia.hilgendorf@gmail.com

____________________________________________________= _____________________________

QUESTIONS ABOUT MEMORY LOSS?<= /p>
Informational meeting to learn about Alzheimer's disease and related causes of me= mory loss, and community resources for families affected. Light refreshments served. Sponsored by Alzheimer's Assn, Land-of-Sky Regional Council, and Pardee Pavilion.

Monday, August 16, 2010, 10:00-Noon<= /p>
Pardee Pavilion, 114 College Drive, Flat Rock, NC

Call 828.697.7070 to register.<= /p>

CarePartners Art Show & Auction<= /p>
Friday, September 24, 4:00-7:00pm<= /p>
Art, refreshments, & live entertainment.

828.277.3399

____________________________________________________= _______________________________

Save the Date!

"The Mu= sic of John Denver" performed by Tom Donnelly & Friends

Diana Wortham Theater, downtown Asheville

October 17, = 2010, 4:00 pm

A benefit fo= r MemoryCare

      WATCH FOR DETAILS!